The biology of belief. Gabor Mate. When the body says no.

'...the unacknowledged assumptions of the scientist will often limit and define what will be discovered. Settling for the view that illnesses, mental or physical, are primarily genetic allows us to avoid disturbing questions about the nature of the society in which we live. If "science" enables us to ignore poverty or man-made toxins or a frenetic and stressful social culture as contributors to disease, we can look only to simple answers: pharmacological and biological. Such an approach helps to justify and preserve prevailing social values and structures, It may also be profitable.'

Freedom, a relative concept.

What is freedom? No restrictions? Having more choices or having fewer when all are equal? I'm beginning to think perhaps there is advantage with the latter. When our neighbours are in the same boat, having to live with the same restrictions, limitations of goods, places to go, things to do, life seems much simpler, after a fashion. Isn't a dividing factor the ability to have, do more, acquisition with less effort and time compared to each equal and opposite drove down ability by a limiting societal structure? The imbalance of structural fabrication pitting us against one another in inhumane competition?

In real terms, of course, we are not swimming against the same tide even when held to ransom by a pandemic but what appears on the surface as an imposed curtailment of freedom for all, providing fewer choices, is there not the liberation of sorts from having to choose? From a cessation in watching our neighbours doing what we can not because of a structure those neighbours play a part in creating perhaps unwittingly? Not all is naturally balanced with the ability of mind and body, albeit such advantages and disadvantages also in part due to the human-made structure of how we live and support one another or not, but a free world surely would imply a system whereby each and every disablement would be catered for, provided the proverbial 'step up', equality for all, yes, no? There is argument that where there is equality there is less freedom, fewer opportunities to grow in material terms. I beg to differ. I put forward where there there is societal understanding, cooperation, there is social cohesion, balance and mutual respect where no one's liberty is gained at the expense of another's and visa versa. What is repression if not the exploitation of one's freedom for the advantage and furtherance of another's? Are we not an advanced species that no longer apply to the Darwinian rules whereby only the fittest survive but instead to also a natural phenomenon of having the wherewithal for compassion and mutual aid? Hasn't this lockdown proven that if not also how the lesser progressed in maturity struggle to express clarity of need and how this too can be exploited? What say you, comrades?

Do you see the problem yet?

Imagine if you will a child born into submissive obedience, compliance with no voice of her own, coerced and lifted up with every expression of dependant existence joined with another person, she is invisible Then at school, she is met with congratulations, repetitive reward when she continues to submit to expectations, having words assigned to her to describe how she feels, unquestionable ideas of what she needs and wants, a clear direction and a predicted life of winning..a "success". Job after higher education, she is convinced her life is worth more than others, she has a place in the society she is free to live with many ways forward, plenty of support and understanding she continues her journey faced without judgement around every corner she cries out for praise in ways people want to hear. She works harder than most to keep her head above the rest, challenged by deep anxiety and fear to add to her load and yet still, everywhere she gets further up a social ladder she views through a lens of gold within reach riches perceived to make the woman a better person.

Now, the same society needs and demands something from this uplifted and respected woman whose individuality is blurred into a picture she doesn't recognise but accepts. Shoved into a box deserving of respect, she turns and emerging from years of unrecognised abuse tells you she will comply, harbouring resentment toward those who don't, the world around her isn't quite what she expects it to be. Yet again she is included for appearing to comply, met with applaud and words of self righteous acquiescence, after all, you managed to get somewhere in life too, didn't you?! Do you see the problem yet?

Do you see the problem yet?

Imagine if you will a child born into submissive obedience, compliance with no voice of his own, beaten out and dragged down with every expression of individual existence separate from any other person, he is invisible. Then at school, he is met with condemnation, repetitive punishment when he begins to act out his frustrations, having no words to describe how he feels, no idea what he needs or wants, no clear direction but a predicted life of losing..a "ne'er do well". Job after doll check, he is convinced his life is worthless, he has no place in the society he is stuck with no way forward, too little support and understanding he continues his journey faced with judgement around every corner he cries out for help in ways people refuse to hear. He works harder than most to keep his head above the murk, challenged by deep anxiety and fear to add to his load and yet still, nowhere does he get but further down a social ladder he views through a lens of bleak out of reach riches perceived to make the man a better person.

Now, the same society needs and demands something from this worn down and out man who's individuality is blurred into a picture he doesn't recognise. Shoved into a box undeserving of respect, he turns and emerging from years of unwarranted abuse tells you to go fuck yourself. Yet again he is ostracised for not appearing to comply, met with criticism and words of self righteous indignation, after all, you managed to get somewhere in life, didn't you?! Do you see the problem yet?

Relax, you're alright.

When met with another's ill gotten judgement, less than deserved treatment or disrespect it's tempting to rationalize, to comprehend what might be going on for them to behave in such ways, to defend ourselves, project hate, pain and anger or deny, all a means to avoid how we feel when what we need and want most, I'd wager, is to have our hurt held with love and understanding. It can be useful to know the reasons why we humans behave as we do, to know the origins, complexities and intricacies of such behaviour. Knowledge is the key to understanding after all but who if not ourselves will give us what it is we require when we've not been used to being cared for unconditionally?

The self is always in flux, adapting or not to the environment. Coping strategies may change or remain the same with or without awareness. At our core, there's a constant will to be at ease with who we are, whatever that may appear to us and the world at large. The moment I remembered to be at one with how I felt, the instant I gave up the dis-ease of fractured self esteem.