Pluck gallantry, vulnerability, all our familiar.

Wait not for protected environs emergence, create needful shape within, certainty, credence in all eventuality. Set oneself for judgement, reproof...interpret requirement another's occasion for domination, masquerade supremacy...not expose perpetrator's detached disdain but knowing this their frailty, vulnerability revealed we stand sagacious, wield leniency once benevolence attained our own. Menacing is as oppression does...screen doner, subjugate giftee, vigilance rouse in sightseer such perturbation, diffidence in erstwhile participants of losing diversion. Intrepid be, quest revelation, unification in all sought or forefit we all shall.

Noam Chomsky - The Attack on Public Education

I care but...

But negates want, no will exists for serve the proclamation. If predilection to leave ungrieved the subject of fondness then do no injury...if wounds you know shall lacerate then incision dependant ties. I know this nature, such fringed connection, tattered edged matter where amplitude lies unlit, mere fleck of evidence to observe quelled fears of exposure as if vanquish was submission met, would disclose insecurities unwitnessed, unrecognised, unloved in myself.

What unhealthy society do we occupy that essential is isolation, psychotic separation to survive? Business matters, strong the economy but weak the wealth of mankind. Expensive deterioration material gains not for life but show, exchange, ostensible nonsense babbled. This crevice I slip, disjointed from clique yet fiery for its survival. But not do I wander lonely nor lost, saddened more the picture missed through blinded ambition I too have strayed to return in reconnection.

Illustrious life in beauty again envelop, swaddled, lucid, visceral, animate...sustained. No but, sir...care or care not.

Del Amitri - Cry To Be Found

The party.

Should I go I risk loss of fulfilment, should I not I leave undone...I go, I step afoot a world I choose not as my own, if I do not I'm hung, postulated, disquieting thoughts of occurrence prevents acceptance the invitation...he'll dance with another and I have no resolve to stand in his way. Prerequisite companion engaged, remote, avoidant...associate essential does not alight in him.

My gut weeps, adrift in search of find yet tears decline. Ambitioned shred of feeling sensed of his remains locked, guarded tightly conceivably or perchance not for me. Or this the elusive carrot dangling? All, I contrive. I heard words of love, clear in my head but from afar, sent me by another as if mind read. Dubiety drips from secured limb, certainly, I shall withstand until candour disclosed...I want I don't. Despairingly I require this over, hopelessly I wish begun.

Melancholia summer.

Dejected truth...jealousy stranglehold plagued dreams submit voice barbed. Masked from spectacle I swallow malady as panic befalls. Unloved by that one inclination, my disabling menace. Disjoined affection from verb is practical measure but when sensation confused with past affliction take too much a hold tis time for strings to sever that tie to rue for life occasionally sojourned but never reside nor, if I revealed, coveted...sobered remnants of conditioned life in social expectant. Dwelling in reminders followed striving of life to love where nobody else could does not set free wings in requisite of soar. Self retribution leaps forth and beyond a child's lost need to lament. Sad is becoming my day, no more I hasten, purely candid affirmation of that already known...straightforward bestial actuality; friend, he is not.

Co-dependency, the too impudent home of taking aboard the other's dismally handled insecurity. This isn't me.