The party.

Should I go I risk loss of fulfilment, should I not I leave undone...I go, I step afoot a world I choose not as my own, if I do not I'm hung, postulated, disquieting thoughts of occurrence prevents acceptance the invitation...he'll dance with another and I have no resolve to stand in his way. Prerequisite companion engaged, remote, avoidant...associate essential does not alight in him.

My gut weeps, adrift in search of find yet tears decline. Ambitioned shred of feeling sensed of his remains locked, guarded tightly conceivably or perchance not for me. Or this the elusive carrot dangling? All, I contrive. I heard words of love, clear in my head but from afar, sent me by another as if mind read. Dubiety drips from secured limb, certainly, I shall withstand until candour disclosed...I want I don't. Despairingly I require this over, hopelessly I wish begun.