Just when we think we have it all sorted out and know what we are doing....whoosh, it all just seems to turn upside down and back to front.
I've just returned from a two week, what shall I call it...for the sake of no other explanation, holiday for all sense and purpose. Aside from the usual jet lag, despite not having flown, I feel that my whole life has become unrecognisable as I knew it, if I ever did. It was a journey into another country that turned into a journey with many shapes. Despite feeling exhausted, I feel that I have been woken to a reality I had not seen as clear as I do now.
How could I have lived a life not seeing what a two holiday has revealed? I'm not certain why or what makes us wake up to certain realities at any one time, perhaps we only see what we need to see when we are ready to see it. I suppose you're waiting for me to reveal my holiday experience and how it has changed my life. Without giving away too much, protecting identities of those unsuspecting individuals concerned, I can say that I went away for a rest and instead came home with a break. No, I didn't break my leg, I have had torn open the picture of a person I thought I knew.
I recall my father once telling me that a holiday can either make or break a relationship, this one certainly proved that theory - it's most definitely broken!
What I find most disturbing is just how much my life feels changed in such a short space of time. Two weeks ago I thought I knew what I was doing. Now I am back at home I realise I never have and probably never will. A journey can change a perception and life can change with no going back. Forgive me, I am being vague. I am feeling vague,living in limbo, where ever that maybe!
Nothing to do but ride it through until something feels familiar. When the new becomes the old and another corner is turned.
I need a break........
Be happy, be back soon! :)
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