Intimidation defence.

Unintentional...or willful, long abandoned origins of need to erect such offensive bearing. I suspect when left alone with child less year since birth and dilapidated house to raise, my son the sky, the shell of home the ground to build anew with scant resource. A requirement to outwit, outsmart men, jealous women, I dumbed down, hid behind frisky clown. There would be no control of me by another, never to get the better. I was not to be handled...

Handle...you said that...you will find way to handle me...with you, this begun. My back against the wall the moment you revealed your hand. Or when I dared express unconditional affection in knowing your deeper inclination to explode in vibrant pain you switched resentment? Unconscious transfer of hurt hurled my way, intensified the more you blocked the pronounced my pushing down. And now you leave me hushed, unresolved the path. Which drift now I exposed, you witnessed? Do you hide in discomposure or indignity? I do not fear retort, the silence furnishes me afeared. Your avoidance shapes mountains of molehills and I'm worn sore of the climb. I shall wait on level ground, find me here if you've a will. This walk, side by trusted side...all I endeavour with you.