Delaying gratification.

Never have I observed necessary a need to delay which gave rapture amongst the instability and mania, my given life...an inexorable exit if in that fracture more the same I found. The ride never ending, round I journeyed, nauseated, ready to step silently aside, hide wounds, harden scars ready for the next folly to cross my way. This time...this time I recognise value, the inevitable requirement to stop, wait and see. Patience arriving the way of certitude, embrace, an arduous task leaves me trembling with anticipation and fret, oh, such fear no stranger to me, a companionless constant I wonder if lost would I also be. To know life in peace, tranquillity what loss of fire, burden to shed, find of derived growth only gained from pain, angst if willing to onward venture, unstuck in perpetuity.