"When?" asks the anxious mind..."when you are ready" wisdom replies.

Since I stopped running from how I feel when feeling is too much a burden to bear I've come to know that hard won achievements made can be very short lived in celebration when anxiety leaps ahead as exhaustion hits.

Feeling overwhelmed, panicked in knowing if anything strikes I have no capability to deal and with vulnerability no bravery to ask for help. Beneath a confident when able person lies a frightened child lost in wilderness even the mother I am cannot hold in anything but reassurances echoing in hollow disbelief. If nothing else sitting with my reality may bring I imagine another who can hold me in gentle closeness when I can no longer hang on to myself. A dream I've had so long I can barely breathe in its existence, its fruition without feeling hope sliding into oblivion for wondering how much longer will it be an actuality that has only since been lived as if. The closer love feels the further I have to fall, the further I fall the closer love becomes.