Democracy undergoing 'alarming' decline around the world, study finds ~ The Independent.

Well worth a read to see how authoritarian one might be when screaming out about democracy being upheld. As I've been saying all along, it seems people are willing to forgo democracy to have their vote..something most seem to consider the tenet of democracy...acted upon. Those who are shouting the loudest about freedom of speech, sovereignty, making Britain great again, taking back control are unwittingly fighting for authoritarian control...the very antithesis of democracy and something this right wing government is more than happy to accommodate...Thatcher would be wetting herself with excitement as Hitler would rekindle his spark in the wings waiting for his opportunity to oblige and take the social cleansing a whole leap forward. We've already witnessed how easily those who champion conformity over civil freedom decimate anyone who stands truly for democracy...Jeremy Corbyn has had everything in their armoury thrown at him enticing all walks of life to squirm at his policies and 'snowflake' desires for justice for all and he would not be permitted to continue his course of action even if in government. The status quo simply wouldn't allow such democratic equality. Correct me if I am wrong in this I've also been saying all along...having the tories take us out of the EU was all we needed to consider when voting in the referendum, that if the leave vote won we'd be heading for a far right government and that civil unrest..even war is on the horizon. I was told I was scaremongering in 2016, tell me I'm still wrong. The safety plans for the royal family doesn't appear to be chanced with such outcomes. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/democracy-freedom-house-annual-report-civil-liberties-authoritarian-donald-trump-us-a8763196.html?fbclid=IwAR0PocJI0waDIsjW_xU2rILuA8GbMMYjqoN2S94yOn7ch1JKEYfT6XGPnhM

George Monbiot: How to Really Take Back Control

Shall I go or shall I stay now?

Knowing full well the dynamics of a distant pursuer relationship and not acting on impulses, old patterns of behaviour are two very conflicting internal warpaths. I recognise in a new and distant relationship my part and the other's causing me to run as far as way as possible whilst aching to be close with him. We are both distancers and pursuers, we both talk but I'm not convinced his talking is as open and upfront as mine. He assumes and judges rather than explores with me what I mean, who I am, what's going on it appears and which is what first led me to follow his lead despite and because of years of thinking he's not for me whilst other's spoke of how suited we both seemed as we both shook our heads denying any possible compatibility. A one night stand I thought and one that wasn't enough to entice me back and yet back I went slightly cautiously until entirely sure I had to put what we were doing to bed...so to speak. It took me 52 years to leave the destructive patterns behind with my mother, 7 years from my first love, 10 years with the second long term disastrous and should if sense prevailed never have happened relationship which took a further 10 to get away from entirely as the more I walked the greater his stranglehold choking my family to death, 14 years with the next as I was still dealing with the mindblowing control games from the previous as well as learning the relationship patterns I'd developed as an anxious child and of course, mother's soul destroying interference, and the last I want is to spend the next month let alone double figure years in angst over this new interest but I have a feeling I'm going to be pushed and pulled by my own desires and understanding for some time to come. I am erecting healthy boundaries, I shall not continue with the haphazard course he's instigated these several months past but I will talk honestly and straightforwardly, as I have been from the off when talking is required, when he wants to discuss as I've said all I need until and not until or if I am assured his talking matches his actions will I enter into that hotbed of spice and all things nice again ...the suspense is killing me, just one glimmer of hope is all I need to steady myself until he's gone again...and there, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the distant pursuer neither distancing nor pursuing but chomping at the bit to do both, holding on to the tiniest of sparks in need of ignition. Would it be easier to remain alone, never touching another man? Hell yeah but nowhere near as delicious as this learning curve. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/compassion-matters/201704/are-you-the-pursuer-or-the-distancer-in-your-relationship

The love of the other I never had.

I wasted too much time wishing I could be the person you couldn't help but love, the right person for you. You who didn't see me, didn't know me...didn't know yourself. Did I love you? That is and always needed to be the question. The answer; yes, as best I could I did, I loved you despite you not loving me not because..I stayed with you because.

This is and always needs to be the answer. The question; can I let anyone love me?

"To thine own self be true." William Shakespeare.

My message to Theresa May

It appears you don't hear yourself, Theresa May let alone other people unless they are repeating the same diatribe you continue to spout that holds little to no basis in reality. You talk of MP's having the right to not be intimidated by members of the public whilst you continue to do just that not only to members of the public who you largely ignore..again unless they agree with you, and members of the house, Jeremy Corbyn in particular. You claim to be clear and answer questions but you are far from. Speaking and repeating what you have said is not answering the questions necessarily. I understand The Labour Party's stance on Brexit far clearer than your party and indeed your stance aside from understanding that the focus is primarily on party politics within the tory government where the Brexit negotiations have been largely held, not even with the EU have you negotiated, they claim they still don't know what you want either. If you could hear what everyone else who has the ability to listen objectively to you and to what other members of the public and parliament are saying there wouldn't be such a problem..as it is your deal has been massively defeated simply because you don't hear what people are saying..the will of the people is not what you claim, the will of a minority is to leave the EU and not all on the grounds that you say and certainly a large number of those people do not have full facts on what leaving means, especially without a deal. I don't mean to be insulting here, I witness this high level of ignorance widespread within my own community and the wider world on social media. Very understandable given the lies and twisted truths spread by mainstream media and independent bloggers and self-proclaimed campaigners like Tommy Robinson, Nigel Farage who entices division and hate based on ignorance and lies. This to me demonstrates not only a gaping hole in our education system where learning to respectfully debate, political sciences, how the country's economy works, constitutional law etc should be but an example the government itself sets in enticing hate and division based on lies and manipulation also. Your cruel politics and vicious offensive defences when challenged are poisonous despite your determination that they and your party are beneficial to this country and the people and set the scene for greater divide and abuse in this country. To lead is to lead by example, your example is left dangerously wanting, Theresa May. If there was any honour in your 'right honourable lady's' conscience you'd resign and call a general election.

The void I feel is not from your absence but your lack of connection.

The double edged sword of desire.

Passionately, longingly desiring a love to know me, to find me amongst the pride I use to conceal my true and shattered self whilst consuming whole a lust for the distant and self-orientated leaves me jaded time and time again yet still I continue to anxiously avoid the intimacy I most cherish. To be known is the scariest thing known to me. Both CPTSD and a diagnosed chronic illness that is widely misunderstood and interpreted, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis is the scar left gaped open for no one to see. How to let love find me when love has never been but the opposite; indifference? My only experience is that of walking away a body running toward hurt and isolation.