A walk on the Wilde side.

Looking back, I don't think I ever wanted to be in the kind of relationship with any of my boy/man friends that constituted a marriage. I feel easier in male company than with most females I encounter, I enjoy the straightforward robust and quick wit of my male experiences. The complications arise when they read into my desire for their company to mean I want more of a partnership with them. I recognise now that I have gotten lost in their story and only end the entanglement when I no longer feel attracted to their company. How they look has altered for me to fit in with the reality of the situation as I claw my way back to myself.

It seems to me that it's difficult for men to be close friends with a woman without the woman having to sacrifice who they are in the process. Or is that just my experience? I risk losing male friends when they enter a relationship with someone who finds my presence a threat even though in reality I am no threat at all. But that's a reflection of the insecurity within that relationship, not mine. I don't know if it's because of my relationship with my mother that has led to the unease around women or if the women I meet project a lack of trust as they backbite and bitch, compete in jealousy. I'm not competitive, I prefer to be direct in my interactions and perfectly alright with what many perceive as my peculiarities. I find greater difficulty being straightforward with women unless it's a woman similar in attitude as myself. Is it possible for men and women to be close friends without one or the other having a hidden agenda do you think?

Mingling with omnipresence.

Let talk about brain/body health.

How about we stop referring to brain-body connective health as mental health?

A message through time.

In time and space, I reside quite in another place.

We're all mad here.

It's a love and hate story when it comes to my own species. I am both fascinated and disgusted. In awe and deeply saddened that a nature so very full of creativity, ability and beautiful mystery is systematically being destroyed and taking all other life forms in its wake with it. The separation of our existence from all that is natural within us, the belief we can control life is removing us from the very thing we need to survive... connection with it all.

Each generation passes on this destruction in defensive dismissal, quietly resentful obedience swallowing whole any reminder of what they are missing into their own story of denial. It's no wonder we can feel so lost in a world full of confusion. My aim is always to cleeve myself from this tale of delusion to which there have been devastating consequences but ultimately, peace the closer I rebecome at one with the life within and without. I find a slown down balanced pace gently yet with more strength than I thought I could ever muster flowing through the chaotic lost in seeking. Care to join me?

A life on hold.

I'm waiting but not for life to return as it once did. Waiting for the opportunities to change the life I have. Leaving behind the broken friendships that have been merely hidden in locked down isolation.

Slowly they remerge and I am stuck here waiting on, too tired of it all.

Inequality is all our problem.

“At first I thought I should just shut up and listen to black people about this issue. But why would I do that? It’s not their problem, it’s mine. People of colour are being failed by the system.

The white system. Like a broken pipe flooding the apartment of the people living downstairs. The faulty system is making their life a misery, but it’s not their job to fix it. They can’t, no one will let them in the apartment upstairs. This is a white problem. And if white people don’t fix it, someone will have to come upstairs and kick the door in.” #Banksy.